A heartbreak is a good thing, in fact I'd recommend one to everyone. One experience of heart wrenching, gut shaking pain of losing love and losing life itself. Needless to say, a heartbreak is like peeling of a layer of skin, that you probably never needed. Through my share of relationship upheavals I've come to realise the basic truth of life, that, everything happens for a reason. You live for the experiences and learn from them, pull your socks up, dust yourself and keep walking.
The tough part of a letting go of a relationship and mostly the reason of pain is undoing routine. Your partner sometimes becomes so entwined in your life that not having them around is like not wearing your favourite pair of flip flops every morning. Old routine gives way to new and the answer to that is the obvious - time. Just like how you learn to chew in a new way once the wisdom pearlies pop up in your mouth. If time is not kind to you, I'd recommend forcing a new routine in your life - taking a new language class, volunteering for a cause, getting in touch with peeps you have lost touch with, etc. Eventually you have to believe things fall into place, eventually. But there is a bit of work you need to do before eventually.
For a few of the needy folks, being solo is as good as living their worst nightmare. The first step to that is to understand that being single is sometimes a good thing. Make a list of things that you thought you would never do alone - like watching a movie by yourself, taking a walk alone, sitting in a park soaking the weather or maybe even treating yourself to a meal. Dare to do something new and discover a new side to you. You just might be pleasantly surprised how much you don't know about yourself. Rebounds don't help and playing with someone else's heart is never a good thing. If the self discovery route is a tad too painful, round up the buddies and go on a night on the town. Alcohol helps, but in moderation.
A quote i read somewhere said 'A heartbreak makes you pay attention to the lyrics'. Put on the headphone, turn the volume up and sing the blues away. It could be Alanis Morissette, Elvis Presley, Rage Against the Machine or any other musician you could connect with. You can't ask for more famous company than a celebrity, to lend you a hand while your going through your worst.
All of what is listed above may have worked for a few and might not for a few. What is essential to understand is that, there is no fixed solution for a heartbreak. Sometimes even the most obvious answer - time, might not help. One thing is sure, you know what works best for you and no one knows you better than yourself. So make that choice and make that choice to move on.
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
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